Big Box Store Zombie Plan!

Step one: Pre-panning

A> Even if you aren't expecting zombies at any moment, it's always good to have an Disaster Plan and a kit. Your plan should include where everyone should meet up with a block of home, within a mile of home if home is on fire/flooded/covered in locusts, and a out of state contact person that you can all call if you can't find each other. You should have one kit for each person in your home which includes a change of clothes, a small first aid kit, flashlight/radio, some snacks, a map, a laminated health record, and laminated recent photos (within one year or major changes) of all family members.

B> Pick a big box store. Generally they have no windows, are 50 feet tall, and made of cinder-block. Ideally your big box store should have the following:
*Free Standing and surrounded by parking lot (preferably with a gas station in the lot)
* Food section (most have canned goods in some supply, but not fresh, you want enough that will last six months to a year)
* Guns and Ammo
* Oil or Tire shop (with bays with double sliding garage doors)
*Glassed in garden section (not chain link, which is easy to climb)
*Propane exchange or sales (many places have these now on the outside of the building instead of the inside)

C> Pick some homies. Go through your friends list and ask yourself: Can I spend a year locked up with this person? Can I count on them? Will they crack and go bonkers? Everyone who passes the test, share your zombie plan with. Pick a few with access to large cars to pick up others in their area and meet you at the box store. Make a friend at your big box store, esp someone who has keys.

Step two: Zombie outbreak. I'm not saying be paranoid, but, folks... generally zombies don't just creep up on you out of no where. Unless you are at the epicenter of an outbreak, you should be able to gather up your friends and head to your box store with little fuss. The fuss will happen when you arrive at the store and announce you're taking it over.

A>If you took my advice that should be pretty simple to do: Have your friend set off an alarm and announce over the speaker system that the store will be closing until declared safe. Lock the doors. The store is yours. This is best done at night, when there are fewer customers and staff to contend with.

B> If you didn't take my advice, timing is everything. Too soon, and police will be called and you'll be sitting in a jail cell while the rest of the town becomes munchies. Too late, and you'll have to fight thru zombies and maybe some other group has taken over the store and won't let you in. If the store is on lock down the best entrance then is the Lube/Tire shop door. Smaller, and easier to re-seal than the other main doorways, it also gives you quick access to one of the steps in the next section: Secure the Store.

Step three: Secure the store.

Divide into teams, if you have enough people, if not, complete tasks in the following order:

A> Secure your get away. Move as many cars/trucks into the lube bay as there are stalls. If there are four stalls, park two facing one way and two facing the other way so when it's time to leave you have better odds. Cover or paint the garage door windows. Block doors, lock garage doors.

B> Secure the outside. Take some bolt cutters and a pallet jack to move the paper vendors, propane exchange, and Redbox vendors into the building. You want the least amount of stuff to climb on as possible. While most of the building is about 40 feet high, the overhangs of the main entrances are open to approach, which is where most of these vendors are located. More about them later.

C> If it's not a fire door, it's a liability. Take the pallet jacks and start filling the entry ways with pallets of dog/cat food and litter. This should be done while the emergency lights still have power so you can run back and forth quickly with the loads. If working in teams have one aisle be a "to doors" lane, and another "back to stock room lane". Check all side businesses like the hair salon, eyeglasses place, photo studio, etc to see if they have a glass outside door.

D> Gather up flashlights, walkie talkies and batteries. Put the two together. Do this before the emergency lights run out. Pass walkie talkies out to everyone.

E> Secure the weapons. Not everyone should have a gun, bow, etc. If they don't know how to use a weapon, it's probably not a good idea for them to have one. At this point you may not need them, but if you have at least one person who knows how to shoot, have them go on the roof with a walkie talkie and keep an eye out. Have this person take a fire escape ladder and secure it so that he/she can let others up quickly if sending them to one of the fire-doors is unlikely to be let in.

D> If the zombies and cops haven't shown up yet, run over and get extra gas for the cars. Your box store should have gas cans. Each car should have extra gas if you can get it.

Step four: First steps of settling in

A> Continue to put lighting devices together with batteries and have them in carts at main intersections of the store. You don't want to have your flashlight die on you in the middle of a store with no windows that's as big as three football fields.

B> Water generally runs on a separate system than the lights, but, eventually, it's not going to pump anymore and you'll be screwed. Set a team to find everything that can hold water safely and have them fill them. Two drops of bleach per gallon is safe for humans to drink, prevents bactiera, and doesn't really affect the taste.

C> Some of the big box stores have a section of tanks and tanks of fish. Alas poor fish, I knew you well. If you want to save a few, do, but the rest...set free in the septic system. They use up too much water, and need care and cleaning, and will eventually smell.

D> Something else that will eventually smell is a lot of the fresh and frozen food. Eat what you can, but within 12 hours of the power going off you're going to have a mess. Dump and rinse out the milk jugs, and reuse for more water. Meat and other quickly rotting perishables and excess (meaning you know you can't eat 12 gross of eggs in a week), toss in the trash compactor. Tomatoes and grapes rot faster than apples and potatoes, so, again, excess. When you've pruned the perishables down from the fresh and frozen goods sections (don't forget the stock room!) have the trash compactor start, but stop it when the push arm is fully extended. Padlock the door, duct tape the edges, spread a sheet of thick plastic over that, and duct tape that. Now it will be difficult for anyone to enter that way, and the smell shouldn't come back into the store when that stuff starts to go.

E> A place to lay your head. The first night just throw down some mattresses and crash. Eventually though you can take over the side offices (aforementioned photo studio, etc) and turn them into fully furnished mini apartments. Turn the fast food joint into a community center and attach the TV into a car battery (converter in the auto section, as well as car battery, recharge with cars located in the lube/tire center) and have movie nights.


Outside there might be half the town in a state of brain hungry rot, but you and your friends and few left over employees who decided that while you may be crazy, your better than the zombies, are nicely snuggled into.

In "Zombie Plan Part Two:  28 days at Wal-Mart" we'll discuss the benefits of rooftop gardens, when a rival group wants your store, how to deal with infractions among your group.